I never considered myself to have high will power or great dedication to anything. This is the one thing I wanted to do perfectly. Of course that didnt happen. Today is 13 days into my diet and exercise program. I am down to 284 from 300 with my official weigh in date on Wed. Last night however was really rough and horrible and i fell from grace and went head on into a brick wall. I did great at work, burned 313 calories in the morning while walking uphill and even jogging for a few minutes. After work I went back to the gym for another 30 minutes of cardio with the eliptical, burning off an amazing 373 calories. So when I got done it was 5 and i was STARVING. My friend and I stopped at subway and we got 2 foot-longs with lite mayo pepperjack cheese , turkey, and loaded with all the veggies. My intention was to save half for lunch today. That didnt happen. I got home and my boyfriend and i ate, its now about 545 and we usually eat dinner around 8 ( we work late during the week ). I put half away in the fridge however about 90 minutes later i was hungry again. REALLY hungry. So i had the other half and a 100 calorie pack. That should have been fine but it wasnt. another hour goes by and I am hungry again. So i grab 2 string cheeses. My boyfriend asked me to get him a peice of cheese cake I made for him the other day. ( this was before he decided to really join me starting today) I did of course and of course i took a few bites, ( 3 to be exact) . So we sit down its about midnight and we turned on a movie
( we are late birds) he made himself some popcorn and i went ahead and grabbed another 100 calorie pack.

I am ashamed to admit that i was out of control. I think I know what my trigger was though. I ate the sandwich which is loaded with carbs and perhaps that triggered something in me to think i was hungry all the time. I am not sure how it all works but  havent been that out of control in almost 2 weeks and I was proud of myself.

I need to do some more research but i think that certain foods may trigger people to eat more and more often. Bread seems to really be my evil villian and savior. I love all types, and i know that it will be my biggest hurdle. I did find some Sarah lee bread that contains 45 calories per slice.

Also I am battling something in my right lower sinus cavity. Its a mass of some sort that is pushing on my teeth and making it painful to talk, chew, even smile. I couldnt get into the doctor until Friday so I am going than with a specialist appointment on Tuesday the following week.

Well everyone have a good week and try to stay focused and positive, we can do it!

I find myself recognizing my own weaknesses when it comes to food. Right now is a great example. I am not hungry , I am bored. I know I am bored as I am off work today, I work weekends instead so I take two days off during the week. So being bored I want to nibble and munch , and yes i have healthy food in my house I just cant wrap my brain around my eating habits. I can go some days with no problem and other days I want to nibble until my heart is content. I have a great TV show on right now, my house is clean and my dog is driving me to drink, but i really dont have anything to do so i get bored. Also feeling better is great I am finally over the food poisoning and you can bet we wont be having dinner at our friends house again.

The great news for today is that I think my boyfriend is ready for his own lifestyle changes. I didnt want to push him to lose weight even though he is 450+ but I worry about his health. He is very tall 6'2 or 6'3 and an ex football player. I just want him healthy and happy. His BP isnt elevated yet and i want him to get active with me. he told me today that he wants to lose weight and go one a diet now. I think my success so far has showed him that it can be done.

My boyfriend and I decided it was food poising that put us under the weather. However what I dont understand is that even though I am feeling better and had real food yesterday, i even cheated a touch at the end of the day just to get in some extra calories with a 1 cup ice cream. I figured I would have put back on all the fluid weight I loss. yesterday alone i went through 3 litters of water, 2 bottles of gatoraide and a can of diet dr pepper. Yet my scale showed me weighing less than yesterday. I don't mind the additional weight loss however I doubt its the right kind of weight that I want/need to lose. Perhaps I will wait another day or two to see if my numbers go back up. Its not like I am complaining about a 16 pound weight loss in one week, however i know 9-10 of it was from being sick.

Side note. Ive seen alot of brave women taking real pictures of themselves and I think its time I did as well. So look for a slide show thingy ( if i can figure it out) later today of the real 100% me. And if I can figure out how to do a video diary I would like to start that. Any sistas out there with techno advice feel free to share.

XOXOXO For now

jen

Good morning! This is your captain speaking and today will be better than the past 36 hours since it really cannot get much worse. I am determined of that.
Ok so Monday night my boyfriend bless his soul started having stomach pains and a fever. Within 20 minutes of the pains starting he was in full blown stomach flu mode. The boy couldn't keep water in his own cells he was so dehydrated. So after a very long night of me helping him , I decide to stay home for work as I am just exhausted. So i go to the store first and get some gatoraide and sprite and decide to buy me a scale. Ive been leary about buying one as i don't want to get OCDish with it. So when i got home i weighed myself at 293. Very respectful number considering A week ago I weighed 300. So by noonish i wake up from my nap and rush to the bathroom annoyed at this point as its obvious i have caught his stomach ailment. So the BF comes downstairs and tries to make me feel better, we have a little joke going now, after every session in the bathroom go weight myself and see what it says. The joke is on him after every "session" the scale showed .5-1 pounds lighter. By midnight the scale had me down to 282. 11 pounds of fluid loss in one day. I knew that number wasn't a true number however it made me laugh and kept me entertained around twoish in the morning I was able to start keeping gatoraide and pedilte Popsicles down. I would just drip it in my mouth slowly and this became an all night thing, as i slept most the day away I wasn't really tired, we watched a family guy marathon napping abut every 30 min or so but not staying asleep for long, our muscles were hurting way too much to really get comfortable. We finally both drift off around 5 am and were able to stay asleep until almost 8. So i got up this morning, feeling energized and like i did a thousand crunches marathon , stepped on the scale and it read 284.5.

Now as today is my official weigh in date I am hesitant to use this number as i do not feel its a true number. I mean after all i was and probably still am seriously dehydrated. Slowly but surely my cells are getting the moisture back that is needed. It is exciting to see the number not just below 290 but below 285 as well lol. I think in order to be fair I will recheck my weight tomorrow morning and will use that number as my official number.

It was rather amusing to leave the bathroom hop on the scale and go "hunny I'm down another pound"

So while yesterday sucked in its own right the amusing game with my scale made it a rather funny day.